Every year as we approach Rosh Hashanah I think about My Mom more than ever. My Mom passed away 12/12/12 so it will be 11 years in December, and somehow it still feels like yesterday. I was thinking this week about the party My Mom used to host often in her home for Bambi, a woman-run charity organization in Israel that distributes money to families in crisis for the holiday. My Mom used to lovingly prepare the entire event herself – from all the Hungarian intricate cookies, cakes and pastries, to the beautiful artistic flower arrangements, to the striking colorful fruit, to the crisp starched tablecloths. My Mom loved to shop for and curate beautiful serving things, and to polish the silver herself with lots of elbow grease. When the party ended, there were always guests rummaging through kitchen drawers for tin foil and to-go boxes so Mom’s homemade delicacies could go home with them..
My Mom was sweet and humble. She didn’t work outside the home but she was such a hard worker. She loved to cook, garden, take care of her home, be scrupulously honest, and most of all to do sweet, kind things for other people. She loved the outdoors, especially the pool and the ocean. She loved religion and spirituality. She loved to shop for beautiful outfits, and she styled each look, detail by detail, from clothes to jewelry to shoes to accessories. My Mom cared about every little detail of everything. She believed very firmly that kind good people come out ahead. My Mom was a really good woman with really good values. I wish I could share with My Mom how much she’s still missed more than 10 years after she’s gone.
As I get older, I remember my experiences of My Mom at the age I am now, and I connect to and relate to her experiences much more than I did as they happened when I couldn’t relate or understand. When I was a young newlywed girl, My Mom’s grief at our new life stages wasn’t relatable. I’m the Mom still adjusting to the new life stage now and while I feel all the feelings, I come to know and understand more and more of exactly how My Mom felt.
My daughter Raizy sent me a picture from Israel yesterday of the inside of her refrigerator with all the foods she prepared for the holiday. I opened my refrigerator and it looks just the same. My mom’s refrigerator looked just the same too. My girls went to shop for a crisp new tablecloth for the holiday; My Mom would love that. Like My Mom, all of us are such hard workers. My mom loved to chat with all the friends she happened upon in the local grocery store, shopping for the upcoming holiday, about what to buy and how to prepare it so that the dish would come out just right; we all find ourselves doing it much the way Mom did. My Mom isn’t here, but she’s with us all the time.
As I think about Rosh Hashanah and goals/dreams for the New Year, I think of My Mom and her values…and how naturally influenced we all are by the values we experience from the people who raise us. As my grandchildren grow up and get older, my goals and dreams are to consciously emulate the values of My Mom so that my in law kids and grandkids, who never got to meet My Mom, will know My Mom by the example she set and the influences she had on the people she left behind, trained to do it the beautiful way that she did.
Wishing everyone a sweet, healthy, happy New Year filled with so much blessing!
Xoxoxoxo,
Sheri
